October 21, 2003
Well, its been almost exactly a month since I last had time to update my journal. I can't say whether it was a matter of "time" or a matter of "getting off my ass" but how about we settle on a compromise and just say that I actually have been busy...and when not busy...certainly tired. In my defense the last month has been a big one for us. Not only have we offically reached term (37 weeks) but we've also managed to "turn" the Bean. And by this I mean we really turned the Bean...180 degrees to be exact. I'm sure you've read about this procedure already in Karen's journal...but in short it was a procedure called an External Version. This is done when the baby is breech and doesn't appear to have any intention of turning head down...which is the preferred position. Needless to say, the procedure was about as intense as it sounds. Basically, one (or two) grown adults put their hands onto Karen's belly and manually turn the baby 180 degrees...externally. It was definitely a painful procedure for Karen and an intense one for me to witness (good practice for the actual labor)...but amazingly enough the Bean appeared to take it all in stride. Usually there is some "distress" to the baby...increased heart beat being the normal reaction, but the Bean just sailed through it. I think it shows the potential for a good temperament. And as painful as the procedure was for Karen I think we were both more scared of them stopping than anything. If this procedure hadn't worked the only other option for delivery at that point would have been a C-section. This of course was our worst case scenario and something that we both have actively been trying to avoid for the past eight months. But it did work and we left the hospital with a spring in our step and a weight off our shoulders.
And now we're at a little over 38 weeks and are full into the "Waiting Game". At this point we're pretty much ready, honestly! We've rearranged our entire house, set up the changing table, have a place for the baby to sleep (probably a few months down the line), have strollers, joggers, diaper service, clothes, pediatrician, etc, etc, etc.... but the Bean has yet to make an appearance. We're not quite at our due date yet, which is technically Oct. 31st, but then again the Bean is already about 8lbs. That, to me at least, sounds like a baby who's ready to go. But that shows you how much I know. The Bean is going to come when he/she damn well feels like it. So needless to say, we're a little anxious. Its a really strange feeling too because its not like any other anxiousness I've ever felt. I mean I've been anxious about a lot of things...going on a big trip, starting a new job, going back to school, and even meeting a person for the first time...which is sort of what this is. But this is altogether different of course because its not only meeting someone new...its meeting a totally NEW person, and person of my own making at that. And of course its different because its not just someone I'm going to meet and then go on with my life...they WILL BE my life. And that's a wonderful and scary feeling!
And that's sort of where I am right now. Things are good...very good infact. Karen is healthy (albeit a little sleep deprived) and the Bean is healthy as well. I'm doing great. My job continues to rock and infact through ME a shower the other day. Very sweet and perfectly reflects the type of people I work with. The only other big thing to happen recently that doesn't have anything to do with the pregnancy is that I finally found and got in contact with some old friends from Knoxville...Katie and Michael. I tracked down one of their mothers and got an email address...only to discover that they up and moved to Davis, CA! That's about an hour and a half from San Francisco. I'm elated. Both of them are doing well...including their two incredibly cute kids Oliver and Henley. I am hoping that we'll be able to see each other in a few months after we get settled into our new roles as parents.
So I'm going to try and keep this journal more updated than I have been recently. And of course be on the lookout once the Bean is born. We will have plenty to say then and tons of pictures to boot (maybe even some QuickTime videos). So everyone take care and keep in touch!
September 25, 2003
So yesterday was definitely a big day for us. Since our three midwives couldn't come to a consensus as to which position the baby was in (head up or head down), we were scheduled for an ultrasound at UCSF. It was an all around surreal experience. The first thing we saw on the screen was the baby's face. And it wasn't just something that sorta kinda looked like a baby...it was an honest to god...fully grown baby! Real face, real fingers, real lips and feet! You can look at the photos we got and see for yourself. (It might help if you tilt your head to the left.) But the experience was incomparable. After months and months of thinking about the Bean, talking about the Bean, imagining what the Bean might look like...there it was. It was, for lack of a better word, moving. We could see that the Bean was puckering its lips. We could even see the kid yawn! It was amazing, honestly! But, in keeping with our wishes, the nurse did not tell us was the sex was. So don't ask...we still don't know.
And as if that wasn't enough, we got to see something last night we hadn't seen before. We saw the Bean move! Now, don't get me wrong, we've seen the Bean kick before and even a little push. But last night we saw, hands down, the biggest movements we've seen so far. It was, again, surreal! There I am, standing over my wife...looking at her belly, and I see this enormous bulge move across her abdomen. And not just once, but several times. The Bean has obviously gone through a growth spurt. Even after seeing the ultrasound pictures, its still hard to get our heads around that its a real baby making those movements.
Yesterday was a powerful day. Yesterday we discoverd that we're having a baby...a real baby...with a real face all its own. Yesterday we discovered that we're about to become parents. Yesterday we discoverd that we're about to start something bigger than we've ever done before. That's a big reality.
September 19, 2003
The week of September 15th is offically BABY BONANZA week. So far we've had three birth related appointments. First was our birthclass on Tuesday night...again, painfully long. Then on Wednesday we had a birth appointment with our midwife. Later that afternoon we had a hospital tour at UC...very validating experience I must say. Karen and I left feeling remarkably thankful for having made the decision to have our baby OUTSIDE the hospital system. And the worse part about the hospital tour/medical approach to birth is that UC actually has one of the better birth centers. Scary. And lastly we have another birth class on Saturday. Needless to say, Karen and I are getting the best of care in this whole thing. Its just a little exhausting. I guess its really just training for the main event in November.
But in the midst of all this chaos we've actually managed to find some time to relax as well. Because as Karen says (and I believe her)..."Whatever is good for the Mommy is good for the Bean." So in light of that we decided to run off last weekend and spend a day up at Orr Hot Springs. It never ceases to amaze at how restoring that place can be. It really is the definition of relaxation. The whole place is so low-fi and unconcerned with itself. it really allows you to just unwind. one of the very best things about Orr is their claw foot bath tubs. they have five or six tiny private rooms as part of their bath complex. each has a lovely, old claw foot bath tub that comfortably fits two people. and they are perpetually fed with hot spring water. soooo close to heaven! and the best part about it is that the temperature is just right. even karen could soak in them and not worry about cooking the Bean. Anyways, we had a lovely time. We even talked with more people than usual. Everyone is generally pretty amiable, but this time people were downright talkative. It was great! Met some nice folks and even ran into an interpreter (who I talk to every single day on the phone, but had never met) and her Deaf boyfriend.
So yeah...things are good.
September 7, 2003
Well, its been a while since I've uploaded a journal entry. I could say things have been crazy, but why get redundant? We're having a baby. Its been a great past couple of weeks though. As you can see from our photos page, our friend Audrey came to town to get her annual "re-programming" from Karen. She described it like getting "re-set" before she starts her second year of law school. And then there was the most excellent, 48hr trip my mom took out here last weekend. It was wonderful! Just two days of relaxing and cooking and eating and shopping and most importantly, TALKING with my mom. I think I needed her to come to town as much as she needed to. (I guess that's a part of my relationship with my child i'll get to discover in 20 or 30 years.) It was a pretty strange (and difficult) goodbye at the airport on monday morning. I had this great realization that the next time I saw my mother...I was going to be a father. The next time we saw each other our relationship with each other was going to be fundamentally changed. A better way to say that would be to say that our relationship would grow, a whole new part added to it.
And now we're back to the grind: Bradley Classes, Birth Center appointments, fitfull nights of sleep, body massages, belly massages, house cleaning, rearranging, and the thousand other things that you do and think about when you're expecting a kid. Oh! And I really must recommend a movie that Karen and I went to see the other day, its called Winged Migration. Its by the same director/photographer that did Microcosoms. It was a stunningly beautiful and entirely engrossing documentary about the life and habits of birds. Its a must see...so see it soon!